Antoine Vaillant The COMEBACK Kid

In a sport where outer strength is revered and ripped bulging muscles are the amour worn to validate your personal dedication to your craft, recreational drug addiction is shunned and rarely mentioned. This is about acceptance and celebrating those who have battled addiction … hit rock bottom and have comeback to find the strength and understanding of how not to let addiction control their lives. Antoine Vaillant has overcome the odds to conquer his drug addiction. He found bodybuilding was a motivating factor that not only helped him rise above the demons that once dragged him down, but it gave him purpose and helped him regain the strength to reach new heights of success. And back to being recognized as one of Canada’s top Pro bodybuilders.

2012 CBBF Canadian Nationals, Edmonton

The energy in the arena was electric but nervous. A bright spotlight shone directly onto the stage illuminating amateur bodybuilders all posing like there lives depended on it.   The men were statues of perfection all battling it out at the Canadian Nationals bodybuilding competition to earn a coveted Pro Card. The year was 2012. The audience frenzy sobered for a few moments as the winner was announced. Antoine Vaillant had won the overall competition. He was going Pro. He had finally accomplished a lifelong dream of becoming “Mr. Canada”. He threw his arms in the air with excitement and a simmering sense of satisfaction as he knew the journey had been long, and it was never easy.

1997, Granby Quebec

Antoine had accomplished a dream that he began pursuing at the age of nine, after his parents were divorced. His father was an alcoholic who had been to jail several times. His mother, a school teacher, could no longer tolerate her husband’s erratic behavior. This prompted young Antoine’s secure and loving childhood to be turned upside down and from there, his life spiraled out of control. “I felt abandoned and worthless”, Antoine remembers. The Granby Quebec native was emotionally torn and needed to take back control of his life. At school his rebellious behavior sparked fights and the violence led to frequent calls to his mother. Elementary school was a train wreck until Antoine discovered martial arts.  Martial arts taught him that fighting was only something to be used to protect himself. It taught him about self-discipline and respect. The further he advanced at martial arts, the less he fought at school and his fist fights were replaced by A’s and B’s on his report card.

At 12 years of age Antoine lived with his dad who had found sobriety. However when his dad met a new girlfriend he quickly relapsed and again Antoine felt his life had become unpredictable. That’s when he discovered bodybuilding and became intrigued with pros like Dorian Yates, Kevin Levrone, Ronnie Coleman and Dennis Newman. These men looked powerful, strong and most of all, they appeared in control of their lives which was something that Antoine felt was again missing from his life.

By fifteen his mother had purchased him a gym membership at Physique Action in Granby, Quebec. Antoine was blown away by the weights and machines the gym had to offer. He told the owner, “One day I’m going to be the best bodybuilder in the world.”

The gym became a second home. The more weights he piled onto the barbells the more his self-confidence and feelings of security increased. The stronger he became the more his muscles grew. A teenage Antoine was becoming addicted to bodybuilding. He loved the feeling of being the biggest, the leanest and when looking at himself in the mirror he saw that frightened boy turn into a man that couldn’t be pushed around by anyone.

At sixteen years of age he won his first bodybuilding contest.  At 5’11, 175 lbs Antoine won the Mr. Granby junior class (under 21). “I had a ripped upper body ready for the beach and super heavyweight bodybuilding legs.” Between the time Antoine won the Mr. Granby show to 2012 when he won Mr. Canada, he had entered countless shows and was becoming a major player and model in the amateur bodybuilding world. Magazines were labeling him the next “It” kid; he was a sure bet to go Pro and win big.

2012 Canadian Nationals

After winning the Canadian Nationals, the world was his oyster. “The rush I had from winning was better than the rush any drug could have given me.” Sponsors were lining up and everyone wanted to be a part of his team. He wasn’t afraid to ask for what he thought he was worth. The magazine Muscular Development signed on as a sponsor and gave Antoine his own column. Universal Nutrition and Iron Bull Strength also became major sponsors. But just three weeks prior to the 2012 Canadian Nationals in Edmonton, his long term girlfriend broke his heart. For the next few weeks he managed to train and contest diet but his mind was no longer in the game. Again his support system seemed to fail him and he felt abandoned. His life began to spiral out of control. With the money coming in from his sponsors, “I had enough money to spend carelessly without worry. I quit my job at the gym and had saved up tens of thousands of dollars, which I’d later spend on partying and drugs.” He moved into his own apartment and was taking home different girls every night. He was drinking, and abusing drugs. He partied for weeks on end, then crashed for days at a time. He disappeared from the gym and found himself  downing drugs that kept him racing for days. He had become a drug addict in less than a year.

2013 Toronto Pro Supershow

Antoine competed in the 2013 Toronto Pro Show and finished dead last. The drugs had replaced the weights in his quest to control his life. Without the drugs he felt depressed and anxious. His sponsors began to withdraw their funding and cut ties with him. He had become emotionally unraveled. He was that nine-year old boy again looking for love and comfort except this time he was a drug addict. Something had to change or he’d be dead.

Crisis Mode

On Christmas Eve, 2014 his life changed forever. He was out drinking and drugging when he heard the news that his best friend’s brother had overdosed on opiates and his body had been found in a shed in the dead of winter. A shed, which he’d broken into for a quick fix. His last fix. “I was devastated.” That devastation would serve as the catalyst needed for Antoine to turn his life around.

Rehab

Antoine entered rehab for the first time a few days later at an Addiction Canada Rehab facility in Muskoka, Ontario.  John Haynes was the CEO as well as his counselor and interventionist. Haynes was also a professional bodybuilder. If anyone could relate to Antoine it was Haynes. They spoke the same language and shared the same dreams but none of that seemed to matter as Antoine lasted only 45 of the 60 days before leaving. After three days of sobriety he was using again.

During Antoine’s fight to become sober he attended countless rehab centers across Quebec and Ontario. He had a routine. He’d check in, sleep for five days, start eating, begin working out and receiving therapy with other addicts, but he simply couldn’t seem to stay sober. Every time the result was painfully the same. He’d stay awhile, feel he was ready to leave but once back in the world he’d quickly relapse. Things went from bad to worse. He lost his home, his friends and even after enduring an attack from a paranoid drug-addicted friend, he continued on his path of destruction and for the next three months, abused drugs and alcohol more than ever before.

ONE LAST TRY

Between December 2016 and February 2017 Antoine attended what he hoped was his final crack at rehab. He had been living in Quebec on social assistance and recipients were allowed to attend rehab at no cost. The rehab centre was called Dianova. This rehab had to work. A few days in he called his mother intent on complaining but her news overwhelmed him and again he was shown the instability and fragility of life. Her boyfriend had been diagnosed with a brain tumor. Every day afterwards he called his mother and found strength in her stoicism. After three months Antoine was ready to leave.

THE COMEBACK

Life hasn’t been easy for Antoine since leaving rehab but he has learned a tremendous amount about himself. He discovered that his anxiety and feelings of worthlessness all stemmed from when he was a little boy and heard his parents fighting. He realized there were other ways to control his condition other than stimulants and party drugs. Today he is mindful of his thoughts and tries to stay in the moment. When the intrusive negative thoughts enter his cerebral cortex he doesn’t acknowledge them. He doesn’t give them the power to cause him anxiety.  Instead, he becomes aware of the these familiar thought patterns that brought him down and releases them. He refocuses on his purpose and what drives his motivation is one day, winning the Mr. Olympia title.

Antoine is aware that intense dieting, shedding weight quickly, and not eating when you’re hungry, denying yourself the pleasures you enjoy can lead to unhappiness, moodiness and even intense anger. With all of these added emotions mindfulness can be more difficult to practice, praying to a higher power may become even more important and calling his sponsor when he feels like using, could be the difference between life and death. Antoine sums up his emotional status with wise words, “Sometimes what you want to do is not what you need to do.” 

THE COACH

John Meadows coached Antoine on diet and training when he won Mr. Canada in 2012, so Antoine felt comfortable approaching him again to train him for the 2018 Toronto Pro Show. “When he started his comeback he looked kind of small and soft but I know him and his genetics well enough to realize he was going to be a force as long as his mind was in the right place,” said Meadows. After a four year hiatus, Meadow’s philosophy remained the same. “My training philosophy revolves around proper activation, then pushing basic movements with as much weight as you can for moderate reps with impeccable form to then pumping the muscle up to the extreme, to then stretching it very hard. We did this in 2012 and while training in 2018 for the Toronto Pro Show.”

Antoine’s comeback was complete when he finished fourth in the overall show at the Toronto Pro Show. His sponsors are back in his corner. In the meantime he’s looking forward to competing in the New York Pro Show and next year winning the Toronto Pro Show in order to qualify for the Olympia.

LIFE SAVER, TRAINER

Dorian “Heavy D” Hamilton is a competitive bodybuilder and a master nutritionist. Antoine met Dorian at a photo shoot in New Jersey in 2014, through a mutual friend. Immediately they developed a friendship that would survive through Antoine’s many relapses. “When I first met him he was struggling to stay clean. We trained together from February to May but then he went MIA for a month. He’d come back for a bit and go MIA for another month. I remember after one rehab, in May 2016, he was living on food stamps at the salvation army in Hamilton.  Every day I’d pick him up, we’d work out, hang for awhile and then I’d drive him back. Eventually he moved into my house in October but quickly relapsed. My wife and I had no choice but to kick him out. We knew he was using again. My wife and I knew he had to reach rock bottom before he could rise up again.”

When Antoine decided he was going to train for the Toronto Pro Show he asked Dorian to be his nutritionist. Dorian insisted he stay with him during training. “He was a not very lean 280 when we started training and he dieted down to 250.” Before Antoine moved in with Dorian, he virtually had no income and was buying the cheapest protein he could afford. “He couldn’t afford proper foods. He was stirring meat in a crockpot. His food consisted of way too much saturated fat.” Fortunately for Antoine four months before the contest he was able to wrangle two important sponsors, “Boss Supplements sponsors him for supplements so he was able to take protein powder and amino acids / creatine etc and Boss Meals, sponsored him for food prep supplying him with all his chicken breasts and fish.” Initially Dorian placed Antoine on a high carb diet.  “He ate a good amount of calories. I never increased cardio and lowered calories. I don’t like to force the body, when it feels happy, it doesn’t push back.” As they moved closer to the contest Dorian had Antoine carb cycling.  “Antoine would eat low carbs for 2-3 days, then 1-2 days of high carbs. On a training day we’d cut back carbs.”

Antoine is a tribute to anyone who’s ever had a dream and never stopped dreaming regardless of all obstacles standing in their way. Sure, his life has been a roller coaster ride with many steep drops but his ability to keep rising to his feet and taking on the world is a true measure of this man.  Whether Antoine ever wins another competition or accomplishes his dream of winning the Olympia, it’s all gravy compared to what he’s been through. He’s already fought the toughest demons he’ll ever encounter and for that he’ll always be a winner. On September 5, 2018 Antoine will have been clean for one year.

Here’s a recap of the feature: